Empathy

There is much educational “noise” about learning for the 21st century and the need for U.S. schools to prepare our students to compete on an international level. Talk of science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) is predominant, along with project/passion based learning and innovative teaching design. Many educators are making great strides in these areas but in order for them to achieve optimum success, to truly forge the global citizens we hope our students will become, it is critical that we include empathy on the list of key 21st century skills.

Empathy enables us to stand in somebody else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes. Educators are increasingly challenging students to identify real world problems and develop creative solutions to those problems but how can they do that effectively if they have no empathy for the end user? Unless we help students build creative, intuitive, trusting and collaborative relationships with others, their solutions will based upon their own perceptions of what the end user needs, not what they actually do need. Empathy enables students to integrate other people's perspectives with their own. It is the ability to identify with others; it forms bonds, develops leadership, and brings about a level of self-awareness that helps us find meaning and purpose in our lives.

So where do we begin? With active listening. Active listening is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent. If we can learn to actively listen we leave little room for assumption, interpretation or doubt. If we can learn to remove distractions and fully focus on the speaker we will be more able to listen to content and match the verbal and non-verbal clues to understand both the content and the emotion of the person’s message. We can suspend our own frame of reference, avoid judgment and let the speaker know that they are being heard and understood.

I am fortunate enough to have a school counselor who was willing to come and teach my students and me a lesson on active listening. We all learned so much, particularly about how to create an atmosphere of trust and mutual understanding. We witnessed first-hand how a speaker is more likely to be open and honest with you if he knows he is speaking to an empathetic, active listener. And that’s powerful.

I believe my job as an educator is about helping young people to become effective human beings and rounded individuals, able to make a positive contribution throughout their lives. It is about preparing them for their role in society, to be able to know and manage themselves. But doesn't that begin with me? To help my students make the necessary leap of imagination needed to walk in someone else’s shoes I need to learn how to do it too. Building empathy is my own personal goal this year, it’s the goal I have for my students, and it is my wish for everyone.

If we could all develop empathy for each other, for our students and colleagues, family and friends and for those we have yet to meet, wouldn't our world to be a happier, loving and more unified place? Empathy helps us to see and understand how others may be struggling. This can inspire us to develop solutions or a commitment to help. We are more likely to become more caring and thoughtful citizens, and this is how we change the world.

Epic Fail

My daughter and I are learning to cook together. My mother’s most essential cooking utensil was a can opener so it’s an area in which I am lacking key skills, but my daughter has a creative streak with food so we are trying to figure it out together.

We trawl through online recipes, choose one that seems most appealing and challenging, shop for it and do our best to follow the instructions.  Many of our cooking adventures result in epic fails but we enjoy the process of experimenting, tweaking, adjusting and ultimately learning. Failure holds no fear for us, indeed it spurs us on to do better, and it occurs to me that I need to fail epically more often in the classroom .

My students brainstorming skills are improving. They are at the point in the year where they have established trusting relationships, and they more familiar with the routine of trying to generate 100 ideas in ten minutes with no holds barred. It is moving from ideas to action that seems to pose the greatest problem. As soon as they begin to consider their ideas they can generate just as many, if not more reasons why their ideas won’t work. They reach an impasse quickly and will tend to descend into a dulled state of defeat and inaction. Rather than attempting a challenging solution and learning from their mistakes they prefer to choose not to try at all.

The question is, how do I help my students attempt to solve a problem with the same fearless enthusiasm that my daughter attempts a new recipe? I need to make my classroom more like my kitchen; a fun place for messy experimentation, a safe place to make mistakes and a place to celebrate success. I can make a start by modeling failure more often.

Instead of being just a coach and guide I am going to try and become more of an active participant. When I ask students to solve challenging math problems I am going to attempt solve some myself. When I ask them to build something, I will build too. When I ask them to play a game, I will play too. Being an active participant will enable me to demonstrate what it looks like to take risks, to dive in, evaluate, consider alternatives, rethink and try again. It will also provide opportunities for open and purposeful conversation about failure, about redefining success and about character traits like grit, determination and perseverance.

As educators we constantly hear that it’s not about the tool, (the iPad, the interactive whiteboard…the can opener) it’s what you do with it. Well my new learning tool is going to be failure, maybe my plan will fail fantastically, but the process will be epic.